Uday Amirapu
2011 Prasanthi Nilayam

As a child I was told by my father, who held my hands together, “Pray to God”.
And I would, not knowing what to ask for, asked what seemed to be right,
“Let me be a good boy, Swami.”
The notion of God did not sink in then,
but I knew You meant something to us and we meant something to You.
In all those times I saw You afterwards,
I had only one thing to ask for,
To be with You, to be Your student.

Years later, did You accept me, chiselling me, preparing me for the moment,
Even then I complained, why not earlier,
It would have been so much better, but You remained quiet,
I found solace in the thoughts that everything has a reason, a time and a place.

There I was in front You, unable to believe it myself
And for five long years I soaked in Your love and grace,
Learning all those tiny lessons that You taught me,
Through ways and means immeasurable, inscrutable and unknown to me.
Even whilst with You, times weren’t easy,
Lessons learnt the hard way,
He is a tough task master, I was told,
Only then will I learn,
And thus many a lesson did I learn at Your feet.

It was not easy leaving You and I never did,
But to stay away from You physically,
Was every bit painful as I imagined it to be,
But to not be able to see You daily,
Your dense locks of hair,
Your smile that raptures everyone and captured my heart,
Your words sweeter than nectar itself,
Your touch which is softer than petals of a rose,
The twinkle in Your eye, The Grace with which You floated amongst us,
The Love that You showered upon me, the patience with which You dealt with me,
The compassion You had towards me, the amount of time You gave me.
The Love that You had towards me – Pure and Selfless
The education You gave me – worldly and spiritual,

For all of this and so much more,
I ask myself, what have I done to deserve this?
Nothing comes to my mind, nothing worthy to deserve so much from You,
In what currency can I pay You back, I wonder?

Love, Love, Love my Heart says,
It’s the most expensive, the most valuable
Love one and all for I am present in everyone, (Love All, Serve All)
Serve one and all for I am present in All.

Seasons change, People change and times change,
So have I, but You haven’t,
You still Love me the same way You used to,
Do I? I wonder to myself,
Has the distance grown between us, I wonder?
Has it? No! You reply.

I feel lost, I complain, Seek me within You cajole and say,
Don’t ever leave me I plead,
I have never left You and never will, You rejoin,
I love You we both say.

Then there is silence, so deep, so profound and so Loud
I say I’m sorry for disappointing You, to break the silence,
Ever so often I do, how come Your love for me never changes, I ask?
You are my Child, my very own, how can I dislike You?
How can I forsake You? You are a part of me,
You have to realize that, You and I are one,
We always were and always will be.

Brother Uday Amirapu is based out of Malaysia.