In the most harrowing time of my life as a mere schoolboy from Nepal, I told my parents, “I want to go to Puttaparthi”. I had been on a heavy dose of medicines just for survival. To this day, I do not know what made me utter those words.

I was not a devotee. Nor did I have any love or connection to Swami. The only way I knew of Him was because of the Sai Samithi near my Grandparents’ home. However, I find the thread of connection with Him throughout my childhood. The owner and principal of all the three schools I studied were Swami’s devotees. I saw His pictures adorning their walls.

I was not a good student but parents, out of love, never gave up. My father procured a class eleven prospectus of Sri Sathya Sai Loka Seva Institutions, Alike. He thought I might do better with a different town and friends. I agreed, inwardly planning that I would fail in Alike and seek admission in Bangalore. Life was for fun and I actively sought it.

Alike school is in a beautiful valley filled with trees. It is prestigious, and churns out state toppers. Thousands contest for a few seats. The principal of Alike always reminds me of the blank answer sheet I gave during the admission test. I didn’t know the answers, and even if I did, I had planned to fail. Yet, I got admission and so I stayed.

I was allotted the dormitory attached to the Bhajan hall in Alike which stands separately on an elevation. My first night there, I unrolled my bed right under the main Bhajan hall photo of Swami. I was yet to have His Physical Darshan! I got up to take the heavy dose of five tablets. As I gazed at His beautiful picture, I decided, ‘I won’t take these tablets, whatever happens is up to You’. The doctor back home refused to believe that I had stopped my medications. Is it the surrender that attracts Grace, or is it the Grace that gives such a faith? I am yet to find the answer.

After Alike, I applied to Swami’s University in Puttaparthi. After the entrance exam, I scanned the displayed list of students called for an interview, from the bottom, with waning hope! My name was third on the list, from the top!  During the entrance exams, I stayed with 20 other students who had secured above 90 percent in C.B.S.E. I was the only person who got an admission from this group.

B.Com at SSSIHL Brindavan followed Alike and I applied for an MBA at Puttaparthi, changed my mind and applied for a professional course in Denver, USA. My aunt lived in a huge haveli in Benaras and I went there to prepare undisturbed. For a month, every evening, I enjoyed the beautiful arati at The Kashi Vishwanath temple. Soon, I travelled by the Ganga Cauvery express and reached Puttaparthi late in the evening. Early next morning I was in the second row from Swami’s chair for darshan. It was Shivaratri of 1999 and He manifested a Lingam. Kashi Vishwanatha lingam to Parthishwara Lingam!

Days passed and one evening during Darshan, while I was on the football field playing, Swami sent word for me. I went to the Interview room and Swami personally informed me that He wanted me to serve in the Central Trust. Since then, I might have been away from Puttaparthi barely for 200 days in these 26 years.

Did my improbable utterance as a sick young boy that I want to go to Puttaparthi decide my life journey? How did I give up life-saving medicines without seeing or knowing Him? How did I get admitted to a prestigious school by submitting a blank paper? How as the weakest student in a group I was the only one to be admitted to the University? I walk away from Him for two years, but again find myself back in Puttaparthi? I was playing football during Darshan, and He was waiting for me?

Swami was beaming with joy when He said, ‘Tumko Central Trust mei job deta hai, I will give you a job in Central Trust,’ emphasizing it was the best He can give.

Maybe it is an example of 100 steps for a mere step? My sizing up of myself finds this bind, or pull or hold as an undeserved Grace of loving mercy. Despite all the monkeying, I did not have to hold onto Him as a baby monkey does to its mother. My life is of a kitten held by its mother firmly in its jaws. Such a Grace can never be explained. In this life journey, I have only traveled on tickets booked by Him.

Chiran Basnet B. Com in Brindavan, P.G. in Philosophy, Prasanthi Nilayam, 1992 – 2000. He served in the Sri Sathya Sai Central Trust for over a decade. He currently resides in Puttaparthi.