A. Arun Kumar
2004 Prasanthi Nilayam

Swami often used to narrate the stories of Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa and His disciples. One such incident narrates how Sri Ramakrishna used to send a student every day across the River Ganges to f etch fish. Swami Brahmananda (Rakhaal Chandra Ghosh) was a soft-spoken person and used to sit quiet while the villagers in the boat made fun of the Master. On coming home in tears, the Master would take him to task for keeping quiet. “You have to stand up to your beliefs,” the Master said. “How could you keep quiet while those villagers spoke ill of your Master?”

On another day, it was the turn of Swami Vivekananda (Narendranath Dutta) to fetch fish. He looked forward to show-off his devotion to the Master and soon picked up a fight with the villagers. Swami Vivekananda was therefore shocked when the Master took him to task for arguing with the villagers. Was this not what the Master had advised Swami Brahmananda?

The Master said, “Some cycle tyres are totally lacking air whereas others are over filled. Those that lack air need to be filled and those with extra air need to be deflated. This will ensure a smooth journey”.

I was similar to a tyre that lacked air. I was very scared of everything. I used to keep quiet in class even when I knew the answer to the query posed by the teacher. I was scared to ask questions when in doubt. I even refused to go on stage to collect my prize as I was scared! Such was I as a student. My stay at the lotus feet has helped me a lot to overcome my fears.

Once during a function in Prasanthi Nilayam in 1997 (related to the handing over of the Water Project to the Government of Andhra Pradesh), I was supposed to present a bouquet to a Minister on stage. Despite specific guidelines from Swami, I remained in my seat during the event. After the function when Swami saw me with the bouquet, He said, “Fear, fear. Now take it to the hostel with you.” I looked like a fool walking back to the hostel with the bouquet in my hand. I directly went to the Bhajan Hall and offered the bouquet at Swami’s altar.

Have I overcome my fears? Not entirely. But, I have come a long way. At least, I know what ails me… the sickness of fear. This by itself is a great learning. Swami encouraged me to take part in drama activities. By His grace, I took part in two MBA dramas as well as in four Convocation dramas. Where did I get the courage from? Swami encouraged me to speak in front of audiences in Kodaikanal as well. Where did I get the courage from? From Him, of course.

I come from a middle-class family just like most of all Sai students. Yet, He spent so much of His time and energy on me. This is unconditional love in action which I treasure.

Brother Arun Kumar is based in Hyderabad and works for a software firm. During his student days he was involved in Dramatics . He has done his PhD from Prashanti Nilayam Campus