(The narrative tense of this article has been modified to enable readers to imagine the happenings live…)
Brindavan and Sai Krishna
It is 1976, a few days since I have joined Swami’ s college at Whitefield. Brindavan is full of trees and remains marvelously lush all year.
There are only about a hundred and twenty boys in all staying at the hostel. The hostel itself is split between two buildings – a single dormitory behind the Kalyana mandap housing forty students, and a garage close to the main gate, where the rest of us stay. Despite minimal facilities, we hardly feel any discomfort. This is almost entirely because Swami spends so much of His valuable time with us. He walks into our hostel almost at any time of the day – often as early as morning Suprabatham time (around 5:30 am), or over breakfast a couple hours later. He often walks into our classes during normal college hours. Everyday, when He comes out to grant darshan to waiting devotees, He invariably stops by our hostel and spends time enquiring about our well being and academic progress.
On days when Swami comes to the hostel to have His lunch with us, He serves us sweets with His own divine hands. Every day, two boys from the hostel are allowed to take breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner to the mandir as an offering to Swami. In His compassion, Swami gives us so many opportunities to interact with Him. In fact, when we carry food to His residence this way, He talks to each of us personally, often making us sit and eat in His presence, filling our plates and hearts to the full. He asks us about our parents and other family members and enquires about our studies or any problems we might be facing. When it is my turn to carry breakfast or lunch, He often asks me to sing, correcting and appreciating me simultaneously.
Since the college is just adjacent to the mandir, whenever we have a free hour between our classes we rush to Swami’s bungalow to ‘steal’ a darshan or two! When He sees a few of us waiting thus, Swami often calls us to Him and talks with us. Many times He describes such beautiful incidents from the scriptures that time comes to a standstill. We are completely transfixed by the beauty of His descriptions and the radiance of His presence – so much so that many times we become oblivious of the clock, but the Divine Timekeeper does not let us forget our temporal duties. Bhagawan stops the sessions to remind us when it is time to get back for our next class!
In Swami’s bungalow there is a ‘safe room’, where Swami spends close to an hour everyday. And here we get the blessed opportunity of doing padaseva, while Bhagawan spends time with us joking, narrating hilarious stories, enumerating examples of value-based living, as well as correcting our conduct. ‘Young boys should stand straight’; ‘Be steady, do not keep shifting your posture every few minutes. The body is like a pot and the mind is like water in the pot. If the pot shakes the contents in it are also shaken…’ He stresses on the need to develop steady devotion for God and to be disciplined in one’s daily routine. He often recounts stories and anecdotes from the Ramayana, the Mahabharata, the Bhagavatham and the Upanishads, bringing them to life with great skill and helping us realize the wealth of lessons they contain for our daily lives.
Though Bhagawan showers His gentle love and motherly concern on all of us, He never compromises when it comes to matters of discipline. He is a very strict disciplinarian as well. His correction of our behavior often ranges from a gentle reminder in the beginning, to a stern warning in public, if warranted. If our conduct does not improve Bhagawan then distances Himself from us. In spite of this if someone does not respond, He often asks the warden to send the student back home. But every sincere attempt to improve is encouraged and supported by Him. In this way, Swami plays the role of a loving mother and a stern father in all our lives.
The Music of My Life
It is my second year of PUC and Swami blesses me with a chance to sing in public in His divine presence. He encourages me to give many programs in the Poornachandra auditorium. He blesses us to form a student’s music group and grants us the glorious opportunity to sing “Sai Katha”, a musical on the life story of Bhagawan. The lyrics for the song have been written by Shri Adinarayana Rao garu and the music has been composed by Shri Rajeshwara Rao garu.
Bhagawan decides to take all of us (the music group) to the HMV studio in Chennai for recording the ‘Sai Katha’. In His inimitable way, during this time He lovingly calls me ‘Kammalwala’ for I am the only student wearing an earring in Bhagawan’s college. However, before leaving for Chennai, Bhagawan Himself removes my earrings and instructs me to wear trousers instead of the dhoti I am used to. This is the extent to which He showers His personal attention on each one of us. In Chennai, Bhagawan stays with us at the studio through the entire recording session!
The music boys get wonderful chances to learn from and interact with Bhagawan. As we are seniors, He gives us minute instructions. He often takes us into the interview room or the green room in the Poornachandra auditorium to make us practice the songs in front of Him, before presenting a music program in public. He teaches us how to render the songs, expressing every little nuance and variations in each line. In Brindavan, He takes us to Mrs. Ratanlal’s house. Like a loving aunt, Mrs. Ratanlal serves us warm milk with turmeric and ghee – a drink that is supposed to be very good for the throat. On many an occasion Swami climbs the stairs all the way to the second floor of the Brindavan hostel to oversee our music practice sessions.
Bhagawan also comes up with ingenious ways to hone our skills and improve our stage presence. He always encourages us to sing with a free and full voice, but it is a known fact that He does not like us to make odd gesticulations with our heads or faces during a performance on stage. I agree with Him, over-gesticulating takes away an audience’s attention from the song.
A particular student in our group is blessed with an extremely melodious voice, to the point we often compare him to the legendary singer Ghantasala. However, he has the habit of contorting his face in various ways when singing. Bhagawan gently reminds him on many occasions against doing so. However, despite agreeing to control himself, the student forgets himself while singing and relapses to making odd headshakes and face movements. This goes on for a while, and we feel it is impossible for the student to overcome the force of habit. But we have not catered for the sharp insight of our divine music guru! During one of our practice sessions, Bhagawan beckons me to Him and whispers into my ear, asking me to fetch a looking glass. When I bring it to Him, Bhagawan accepts it and keeps the looking glass well hidden from everyone’s view. Turning now to face our group, He asks our home-bred Ghantasala to begin his song! The student begins singing and is soon pouring his heart out, looking squarely at Bhagawan when singing. Now the song rises in pitch and speed and sure enough, the odd face twitches and head twirls follow suit. Just before the song nears its peak and the gesticulations are beginning to get out of control, Bhagawan holds forth the mirror directly in front of the singer’s face! Bhagawan has such an impish grin as He does this, that none of us can hold back our laughter! Peals of laughter drown out the song, and the singer realizes what is happening before breaking out in an extremely sheepish smile. He has never actually realized till now how he appears when singing. There is such innocent fun and bonhomie in the air that instead of feeling targeted, the singer is grinning along with us! I am amazed at the impact – the entire episode has the desired effect and the student is able to remedy this drawback soon thereafter. Quite a lesson for all of us, who unknowingly put a limit to what Bhagawan can help us achieve!
Many a time, Swami takes us on picnics in a cavalcade of cars. The cars turn off the regular road and we venture into thick forests with lots of greenery and have a wonderful time. Like a mother, Swami feeds us with wonderful delicacies – to our heart’s content. He asks us to sing Bhajans to the accompaniment of all musical instruments, while He Himself plays the thalam (cymbals). It is so blissful to be in Swami’s sannidhi that I hardly remember that I am far away from home.
I continue to have wonderful opportunities and interactions with Swami because of the ‘music’ connection. One day, Swami asks me if I know any of the poems written by the first Vice Chancellor of our Institute – Prof. V K Gokak. Sadly, I am forced to tell Swami that I know none. Then Swami Himself selects some poems written by Prof. Gokak and his wife, Mrs. Sharada Gokak, and gives them to me to be set to music. I realize this is in preparation for the Vice Chancellor’s 75th birthday! After I set them to music, Bhagawan listens to all the songs in the interview room, corrects the tune and music, gives the final touches and makes us present a grand music program.
Now, preparations for Bhagawan’s 60th birthday celebrations are underway. This time students are blessed with an opportunity to give a music program in the Hill View stadium. Swami has personally asked me to sing the song ‘Radhika Krishna Radhika’ for the Jhoola program on birthday evening. He teaches me each line of the song, making me repeat every nuance after Him. I feel none of the boys who are part of this music group will ever forget these precious moments spent with Swami.
A Saga of His Love: The Tale of My Academic Performance
One year in Brindavan, it so happens that one of my immediate seniors fails in the PUC examinations, and Bhagawan then assigns him the ‘staircase duty’. In the staircase duty lies vested the enviable responsibility of being the ‘link’ between Swami and others; particularly when Swami retires into the mandir after the Arathi. In actual fact, Bhagawan does not need anyone to act as a link for Him – this duty is just an excuse to be in Swami’s vicinity, and to serve Him directly. Since childhood, I have often visited Swami and have an intense craving to be near His physical presence as much as possible.
In the hope that He would grant me the chance to perform the ‘staircase duty’ like the student from the previous batch, I successfully fail in my examination! Unfortunately, things don’t go the way I had hoped thereafter. There is no place in the hostel for students who have failed the examinations and the warden is very strict about it. Having landed myself in this situation, a sense of fear now overpowers me. Bhagawan calls all the ‘failed’ students to the interview room and asks seven of the boys to leave for their homes. I know He will soon turn His attention to me. I am feeling scared. Bhagawan turns to me, and He begins by chiding me for not being responsible, and reminds me of the great expectations with which my father has sent me to the college under His care. I pray intensely for His forgiveness. He ends the interview saying that I will be sent home the next day. I am unable to sleep a wink that whole night. Not knowing what to do, I pray ceaselessly till daybreak. The next morning, Swami calls me for an interview and says He is giving me another chance. He tells me that if I gave Him a word that I would pass in my next exam, I could stay on with Swami doing the staircase duty. Oh Lord! It is an immense relief for me and I fall at Swami’s feet at once in gratitude and bathe them with my tears.
It is not only my education that Swami looks after, but also my daily needs. My father has completely surrendered me to Bhagawan’s lotus feet and has never once worried about me. He feels that I am in the safest hands.
However, studies are not my cup of tea and I continue to fail for two more years. Then Swami gives me one last warning, calling my father and telling us that He will send me home if I did not complete my PUC in the very next exam. I beg of Him, that even if I pass, He should allow me to continue with the ‘staircase duty’. He agrees to this prayer and true to His word, He keeps me near even after I pass my exams. He knows so well how much I value the opportunity of being in His divine presence. I continue with the staircase duty even during my under- graduation. In the final year He again warns me that I should not fail. By His grace and with much hard work, I do well in my examinations.
Looking back, I can see the change Bhagawan has brought about in me over these past five years or so. I have come a distance from the days of poor academic performances – thanks entirely to the strength and confidence He has given me. By His grace, I can count myself as one among the first batch of students taking the convocation oath for the newly established ‘Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning’. Is there any way I can convey my gratitude to Him? In my third year of under-graduation, Bhagawan’s old bungalow in Brindavan is being demolished. In its place, Trayee Brindavan is to be constructed. Before the demolition of the bungalow, Bhagawan calls four students (including me) and gives us the responsibility of shifting all items from the bungalow. From 5 am in the morning to 8 pm in the evening, working continuously, we empty the entire bungalow. Swami is very happy with all of us and blesses us for our hard work.
As Trayee Brindavan is being constructed, Swami stays at ‘Devi Nivas’, the house of Rajamatha of Navanagar, near the Brindavan college. In the Rajmatha’s house, I have the opportunity of breathing the same air, eating the same food, and staying in the residence of Bhagawan. I even have the golden opportunity of having food sitting on the same table with Swami. Can I ever express my gratitude to Him for all this? He often takes me in His car from Parthi to Brindavan, and to Ooty and Kodaikanal. How merciful and loving Bhagawan is!
I have now come to Prashanthi Nilayam for my post graduation. Swami asks me to stay in the students’ hostel. During my M.A. final examinations, I am unable to complete revising my portions. Old fears about my previous academic failures come back to haunt me. I feel I cannot let Bhagawan down, given all that He has done for me. So I have a cup of lemon tea to help me sit through the whole night, trying desperately to complete my revision. The next day I become nauseous and fall ill in the examination hall, but somehow manage to complete my exam. When I go for Darshan in the evening, Swami comes straight to me and asks me why I had studied all through the night. He says, “You should be relaxed before the exam, never have tension. It was only because of My blessings that you could complete the examination!” How true are His words! By His grace, I do well in my M.A. exams. After I complete the second year of my post graduation degree, Bhagawan assigns me the most envied privilege of performing the staircase duty once again.
Everlasting Feelings
There are no words to describe Bhagawan’s Love and affection. I am eternally grateful to Him for giving me the opportunity of singing before him during Bhajan sessions even now. Swami always says that we cannot repay our debt to God and to our parents. For all that Swami has done for me, in my own humble way, I wish to do whatever little service I am capable of. I can never wrap in words what His Love means to me. I am ever indebted to Him and pray that He keeps me ever engaged in serving Him at His Lotus Feet.
| The author, Sri Lakshmi Narayan Kote, is currently based in Mangalore, Karnataka. He is the correspondent of Shri Sathya Sai Vidyakendra, Chokkady; a school blessed by Bhagawan in 1988. Sri Kote joined Bhagawan’s college at Brindavan in 1976, where he did his PUC. He then went on to do his under-graduation and post-graduation in Arts from the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning. An accomplished singer, Sri Kote was a constant presence in the student music group through his student years. He also had the unique privilege of being a faculty member at the Sri Sathya Sai Higher Secondary School for a period of five years, after which he was instructed by Bhagawan to take up family duties. |
