The Song Of The Soul
We would like to ‘introduce’ you to a very well known brother, Sri Ajnish Rai, a name that perhaps needs little introduction. His composition and rendition of songs such as ‘O Sai Maa!’, ‘Humko Tumse Pyar Kitna’, and the Qawwali ‘Sai Bina Raha Na Jaaye’ are famous among Sai devotees the world over.
The following pages of this section have been adapted from his musical journal ‘The Song of the Soul’ – a collection of brief essays about his musical journey.
Topping the list or alphabetical order?
It was a hot summer month of May in Puttaparthi. My Father and I were checking the list of the candidates who had passed the admission test for 11th class. There was a huge crowd in front of the South Indian Canteen. The notice board was hardly visible.
Suddenly my father shouts, “You’ve come first, top of the list!” I didn’t bother to look at the list myself, being selected was good enough, though I had a queer feeling that the list might have been set in alphabetical order!
After that evening it’s been a long… long journey. A very special journey! One which cannot be forgotten! Every turn every twist in this journey remains fresh and meaningful. Swami told, “ALWAYS BE HAPPY!!!” an impossible philosophy to a fresher who had just lost his mother. Plus the climate in Prasanthi Nilayam was unbearable as I had come from the cool hills of Darjeeling. However, looking back “ALWAYS BE HAPPY!!!” was not a suggestion, nor a command but a PROMISE! And Swami fulfilled it!
Initiation
“Swami is coming to the hostel!”
The word spread around like wildfire and the atmosphere in the hostel was electrifying. All nooks and corners of the corridors were being washed and swept. The lawns mowed, the bushes trimmed. Various programmes were being prepared amongst which I had to sing a song “Dil Jhoom Jhoom Nachey, Mann Jhoom Jhoom Gaye! Mere Baba Aaj Aaye!”
While I was singing Swami asked, “Where is this boy from?”
My seniors from Darjeeling had shouted “Darjeeling”
“Swami really liked your song!”
“Why don’t you ask permission to sing in the Mandir?”
My mind was aflame with ideas and dreams of sitting inside the Mandir hall. To be sitting right in front of Swami and singing was the dream of every student and every Bhajan singer. Little did I know that Sai’s Will would make this dream into a reality so easily!
“Swami can I sing in Mandir?”
“Yes! Of course!”
I was startled.
“Kaha se Aaya?”(Where have you come from?)
“Swami , Darjeeling se.”
Thus began my singing!
Jai Jai Krishna was the first Bhajan I sang in the mandir before Swami. I don’t remember the beginning, or the end, nor do I remember how I felt or what I thought. I was just not present, my being was not there. It was just a blackout, perhaps timeless, yet removed from my own perception of time, living and existing.
The next Bhajan after a few days was “Mathuradhipate” in Raag Bihag. It was a very difficult one considering the intricate details of the composition. However I sang it too with a lot of fervor.
After these two Bhajans, I realized that there are times when you are contented with your singing and times when you remain unfulfilled.
Thus my search began: for contentment in one’s own singing. And till today, I have to confess I am still searching. Although I have collected over the years few lessons which have helped me immensely to sing with contentment and Ananda.
An Album of Beautiful Moments!
Each Bhajan captures a moment in time so precious, it replays an episode in Prasanthi with Swami. Every Bhajan helps us recollect a time we felt so good and godly!
‘Sai Mata Pita Deena Bandhu Sakha’, is one of my favourite Bhajans. It means “Swami, you are my mother, father and a friend of the downtrodden. Give me strength and devotion and liberate me.” Whenever this Bhajan is sung I remember Swami asking me, “Why are you so worried?” Then He called me inside the interview room, walked towards a cupboard, took out a tin box, opened and handing me two five hundred rupee notes said, “Fruits aur Viva khawo!”(Eat fruits and Viva – a health drink).
At this particular period Swami was extremely busy with the Super Specialty Hospital construction and yet He had time for this little boy!
I remember joining the army of boys to work for the Hospital construction. I used the money to buy fruits and Viva and decided this was payback time! Finally on the day of inauguration I remember trying to play the harmonium with gnarled, weather-beaten fingers and singing ‘ Anjaneya Veera Hanumanta Shura’. The bottle of Viva and the fruits had brought out the Hanuman in me! That day Swami looked at me and said, “I’ll never forget You!”
Sore Throat!
Once due to strenuous practice and constant singing I developed and acute throat problem. The doctors diagnosed it as Pharyngitis and the medications began. All vocal activity ceased. I used to sit with the Bhajan boys, but could not sing. Six months passed… Antibiotics and salt water gargle could not remedy my ailment.
One day, Swami asked the Bhajan boys to make way for Him to walk in between the group in Poornachandra Auditorium. I was wearing a muffler around my neck despite the Puttaparthi heat. The boys eagerly made a passage for Swami to walk through. However the microphone cables were all over the path on which Swami would walk. I took the chance to place the muffler over the cables and Swami walked right from one end of the muffler to the other. I put the muffler back around my neck. Needless to say my Pharyngitis had vanished! Till date, I firmly believe that if the Lord wills, I can sing and if He decides otherwise I get the “sore throat”.
There is a recurring sequel to this episode. Every time I go to Puttaparthi for the Old Boys’ Day (Premabandham Day) on January 1st, I get the ‘sore throat’. I always get well on the 1st of Jan when we have to perform before Swami. A reminder I guess!
Practice 48 Hours a Day!
My vocal teacher (Guruji) Ustad Dayal Thakur once narrated an episode of a great Classical musician who said “I practice 48 hours a Day!”
My Guruji explained to me that it is not important how many hours you put in your practice, but the “Niyat” or temperament with which you practice that counts. Just as Swami’s words “It’s not important how long you live but how you live!” However, it should not be misunderstood that singing does not involve long hours of Reeyaz (practice). One’s devotion to music itself incurs long hours of rigorous training. But just long hours of Reeyaz without proper centering or focus are futile.
In the hostel, there was no dearth of the “Niyat” aspect in our practicing. We sat in the music room or in the Bhajan hall keeping Swami’s photo in front and let the practice happen. We sincerely practiced some basic exercises which our seniors had taught us and went on for hours. Driven by Swami’s pervading presence our practice sessions were spiritually charging and ecstatic.
My Guruji said, “70% listening and 30% singing”. Learning music involves more of listening and learning than playing or singing. Indeed, in Prashanti, we had the good fortune of listening to the greatest of musicians and that too pretty often. The likes of Pavarotti, Maynard Fergusson, David Bailey, Symphonic orchestras from Italy, Dana Gillespie gave us a good dose of western music. To cater to our thirst for Indian music we got the opportunity to listen to Pandit Ravi Shankar, Pandit Bhimsen Joshi, Pandit Jasraj, Ustad Zakir Hussain, Jagjit Singh and Carnatic Musical doyens such as M.S. Subbulakshmi, L. Subramaniam, P. Susheela. I realized later that even to get a pass for their concerts was difficult and sometimes impossible.
The Music College had not begun then. However, Swami had made sure that His students do not lack in any sphere of education. My Guruji said that whosoever comes from “Sai Background” to him, comes with a lot of “Tayyari” (good foundation training and practice).
The Lord’s Mercy
Let me conclude with an incident that shows the immensity of Sai’s kripa towards His students.
I had a deep desire to learn the harmonium and play along when I sang Bhajans. But this is a very tricky thing to master and the task of coordinating the fingers with the voice is a very unnerving exercise.
I was selected to be amongst a lucky few to go to Kodaikanal with Swami in the summer of 1993. There were three singers, one Tablist and to our dismay there wasn’t a harmonium player in the team selected. As luck would have it, I used to keep the scales and manage to handle the harmonium during Bhajan sessions. After every discourse Swami used to sing “Sai Bhajan Bina Sukh Shanti Nahi” and Swami used to give discourses almost every day!
When I was not singing myself, playing the harmonium was not much of an ordeal and I had already learned to play for the Bhajans that Swami used to sing. Swami used to watch me play the harmonium very intently even while He sang. However, one day, He started the same Bhajan in a different scale and I struggled to get the right notes. I saw that my playing skills were being pushed to its limits. Another day, not only did He change the scale, but even the tune. As I tried to get the new melody Swami smiled at me. Later that evening Swami asked, “Kaisa Tha?” meaning “How was it?” Slowly, I began to sing as well as play the harmonium and my fingers began to fly over the reeds as if they had a mind of their own. It took about two months for Swami to make me play almost anything on the harmonium!
People come to my classes and ask if I teach harmonium too, and I am forced to reply, “I can’t, as I have not learnt!” Because all this happened by itself. It was all Swami’s Grace! Thus, not only in music, any form of Sadhana becomes easy in the presence of His Grace. The only effort one needs to do is buy the lottery. He does the rest!
