He Filled the Void of Mother
Every student of Swami has a tender story to share, a story of love that lasts forever. Let me take this opportunity to share my story of why this Avatar is called Prema Avatar and why His love is that of a 1000 mothers.
It was the summer of 1994. An elderly uncle of mine had coaxed us into applying to this “good college” in Bangalore. Yes, I had not seen or heard of Bhagawan before I became a student and joined the Brindavan campus. Summer courses are a good way to initiate young minds into Swami’s philosophy and the Sathya Sai Education system. But, for some reason, Swami did not want to initiate us formally through a summer course that year. Uninitiated young minds from a normal college can easily stray on a slippery path. A few of us would venture outside the ashram for meals, something that is prohibited as Swami is very particular against such misadventures. However, as days passed, our teachers showed us that this was not correct. I felt we should stop this practice. I told this to my friends and some of them appreciated this, but one boy was very stubborn. In fact, though he was chosen as Bhagawan’s student he had not given up his old habit of smoking! When I told him, we should abide by Swami’s principles, he remarked, “I’ll stop all this if Swami tells me”.
“Don’t use match box for smoking”
We soon had an opportunity to be in Swami’s close proximity as Brindavan boys have this most unique and memorable time with Swami in the evening during Trayee sessions. This boy, being a fresher, was slated to give Aarthi to Swami in the evening. Through some providence I had an opportunity to sit opposite him at the partition between Trayee’s central hall and the Jhoola room where Swami sits – essentially Swami was sitting between us. The nectarine session ended, and this boy got up for Aarthi. As per custom, he offered the match box to Swami to light the Aarthi. Swami lit it and remarked in Tamil (which I could hear), “Don’t use match box for smoking”. There was laughter around as no one guessed that this boy smoked. What followed was even more shocking. “You said you will stop if I tell you,” Swami added. I was awestruck when I heard this. There were just three to four of us when He said this. Bhagawan revealed His omniscience so casually that no one around realized the context of His words except us. That was my first tryst with the Loving Lord.
The love of a thousand mothers
This relationship started growing stronger since then. He started soothing my ailing heart and agitated mind. I had an unpleasant background before I came to Swami having lost my mother when I was an eight-year-old child and my father was not doing well financially. The family troubles were continuing and one day during Bhajans while singing a Bhajan on ‘Sai Ma’ I started crying. Apparently Swami was looking very compassionately towards me, but I thought it was a casual glance. Bhajans concluded and we went inside Trayee. That was to be a changing point in my life as Swami was going to change it forever. He picked me from the crowd of students in Trayee and began talking about me to Ravi Kumar sir. He knew everything – even those things that I had never discussed with my friends or teachers. He revealed that I lost my mother early, that I and my sister were going through a traumatic time due to father’s economic conditions. He told Ravi Kumar sir, that Swami is like a thousand mothers to such a boy and He hugged me. I was obviously washed in tears as I was not used to such an expression of divine Love. He also blessed me with a beautiful green ring.
We become His responsibility
From that day Swami started interacting with my family, almost like the head of the family, guiding guarding and motivating us through the difficult times of our lives. It was like Sri Krishna guarding the Pandavas through their turbulent times. Not that we were as illustrious as that blessed family of the Dwapara Yuga, but the Love of the Avatar was certainly the same in this age too. He was particularly concerned about my health. He knew that I preferred Chappati and would not take rice. Chappatis, as we know, are served in limited quantities in the hostel. Swami once called me and said, “You are not having rice and are growing skinny. Swami is your mother. Your physical father should not feel bad seeing you”. Knowing that father had limited financial means, Swami not only started paying for my hostel food mess charges, he would also give me money to buy fruits to ensure I had healthy food supplements in addition to the Chapattis. Once when we, as Brindavan students, visited Prasanthi Nilayam, I fell ill and couldn’t go for Darshan. Swami came out and asked our warden about the ‘Kerala boy’. Only Swami knew that I was down with fever. I was brought to the mandir and Swami called me into the interview room. He got a thermometer from somewhere, checked my temperature and gave me apples to eat. I was also advised to take hot milk from the canteen, in fact it became the canteen in-charge’s duty to report to Swami if I had milk or not. Today in hindsight, this warm love that was given has become a treasure trove of memories to be cherished for lifetime. What makes it extra special is that fact that such came from the Avatar Himself who had a universal mission to accomplish and yet had time for a little lonely teenager – no wonder He is described as the Ocean of Love!
Swami was a strict disciplinarian. However, he would have a soft corner for me probably because I didn’t have mother. He would not prefer me going home. He would guide me on what books to read and what to avoid. For instance, he would prefer me reading Autobiography of a Yogi instead of novels. He would ask me not to meet old friends – in fact once during vacation at home I was passing through the street and couldn’t avoid bumping into an old school mate although I made an effort not to talk to him. Back in Parthi, Swami told me that boy’s name and chided me as to why I met him. Of course, He appreciated when I told Him it was an unavoidable circumstance, but He was driving home the point that one cannot escape His omnipresence. In my second year under graduation, I was diagnosed with epilepsy. The ailment as we know is lifelong and was impacting my academics. Swami again was all grace – He created Vibhuti with medical ingredients, gave me Padanamaskar and promised that the ailment doesn’t impact me if I promise to take medicines sincerely.
The Crossover period
Given that my family needed my support and the fact that health reasons ensured that my GPA was not satisfactory, I was to take up a job instead of doing my post-graduation. With Swami’s grace I had got an international assignment and was waiting for my Visa to arrive. During this period, I chose to be in Parthi in the Divine proximity. Sri Mohan Rao was ill and needed a caretaker in hospital. I took it up as a Seva opportunity and would be with him in one of the eight hour shifts with other two shifts being manned by Seva Dals. Given his critical condition, this Seva was an onerous task. In the 30 days that I served him, I understandably got attached to him. I would pray to Swami whenever his temperature would go up. Swami during this period had chosen to remain physically distant from me. Whenever I would go for Darshan – He would look at me, but not speak to me. The month was ending and one of the Seva Dal’s duty was about to end – going forward it would be only me and the other Seva Dal to take care of sir. But divine providence had other plans – I got the news that sir had merged with Bhagawan at night. Call it coincidence or Sai incidence, the same day my visa arrived, and it was time for me to leave Prasanthi Nilayam. It was as if Swami had created this Seva window. I wept again, for I had got attached to sir and was now to leave Parthi.
For some reason, there was no alumni block those days, so I had to sit with the devotees. I was to leave Parthi, I needed His blessings but got the 16th line during Darshan. Swami, of course, loves to create these situations and intervenes to apply balm on our ailing soul. From the 16th line, the Lord called me – took my letter and blessed me.
The story continues…
Swami continues to be gracious. When I wanted to change my job, Swami again blessed me. Work took me to Bahrain and London and many Seva opportunities with fellow alumni came my way. The years 2010-11 turned out to be difficult again. There were challenges on the professional front and happenings at Parthi about Swami’s health ensured no peace of mind. The 24th April also happens to be my birthday and hence the birthday of 2011 was an extremely painful day to all humanity including myself. My wife was weeping, and we couldn’t sleep. I was under acute depression. Suddenly on bed, I felt vibes as if was at Darshan. I had a very vivid dream. In the dream I knew that Samadhi had taken place and I was ushered into a palatial building – I saw Swami sitting there. He said those famous words which gave solace to me “Why fear when I am here”. Since then I am truly convinced that He continues to be very much here with us. Swami continues to bless and guide us. He revealed to my wife through a dream that she would be blessed with a boy and even kept my son’s name in that dream.
The hand that graces and guides us is as evident as ever. It is only His grace that both my children are now studying in His primary school.
(Brother Rakesh Menon did his graduation in Commerce from the Brindavan Campus in 1994-97. He has worked across the globe in many esteemed financial institutions in senior positions.)
