Sai Sundar R
2006 Prasanthi Nilayam

What does Swami mean to me? I have thought hard about this and have never been able to come up with a single answer. He has touched my life very deeply in so many subtle ways that it cannot be fathomed or explained easily. I am lucky to have been born into His fold; He has always been a part of my life as far as my memory goes. While for kids of my age, God was an out-of-reach, all- powerful, judgmental, governing entity, the way I related to Swami was more intimate. I could mentally converse with him, see Him at Prasanthi Nilayam and call on Him for anything and everything. From a mundane cricket match to a tough school exam, He was there with me. Yet, for me He was God.

When I joined His school and came under His umbrella, not only did my relationship grow stronger and deeper with every passing day, it unknowingly took a sweet turn. He let me observe Him from close quarters and this proximity strengthened our intimacy. It was more personal now. Though He juggled the role of Father, Mother, Guru and Friend, I could relate to Him with ease. He established a unique one-to-one relationship which can be compared only to Rasa Leela where every Gopika had her own Krishna! Despite minimal interactions at the physical plane, the heart-to-heart bonding nurtured and blossomed feeding on His Love. As a Father, He infused in me confidence and character through numerous opportunities, such as the Sports Meet, drama, and other venues. Be it during GramaSeva, exams, hostel visits, Trayee sessions or daily interactions, His Motherly love was to be experienced and cannot be explained. He befriended me through the topics He spoke, His laughter, language and tone – and humour He liberally used. Above all, as a Guru, He took me in His fold and chiselled me under His care and touched my inner being.

My heart and mind opened to him unconsciously. As much as He taught through His actions and talk He taught more through silence and distance. When He interacted with me, He taught me directly. When He distanced Himself from me, He made me think, introspect and learn about myself. Pining for the Lord is the essence of this relationship. His life is His message. He inspired us to dare to dream that each one of us could be like Him – lead a life imbibing His values and vision and aspire to add meaning to life and pursue it with passion.

Time and again I falter, I forget, I fade into mediocrity. But those memories and the moments serve as a lighthouse. They kindle the spark and give that gentle nudge when needed most and push me to strive harder to become a better human being, to be called His student, to belong to His mission and find meaning through it.

Brother Saisundar R is based out of Chennai and is working for World Bank. He likes to get involved in alumni and SSSO seva activities and currently the youth coordinator for a local Sai samithi at Chennai. He is part of alumni initiatives like Catalyst &Vidyullekha (alumni magazine)